Last time I talked about porn, and the lack thereof.
This time, I’m going to talk about industry practice.

Do I mean disclaimers, you ask?

Ratings?

Character tags?

Well yes, but a specific, lesser known issue, and that is
the practice of pointing out all our little stunts for what they are.

Yes, really.

I’ve spotted instances of this happening, this bald-faced unveiling – which induces guilt in yours truly, for not putting up such statements as “do not try this at home” or “some details have been left out” or “[…] not encouraged by this author” –

Can you believe the audacity?

Why, it’s practically accusing my storytelling of being unrealistic! Not that I care, or anything…

No, no, no. What I balk at is the impression that we must curate our art with big, bold warnings.
Do I really have to tell you that’s not how proper fisting works? Or mention that, yes, I skipped past a few scenes? Come on.

Next you’ll be asking for trigger warnings.

I’LL SAY ( RATED M FOR IMAGINARY )

You know how it goes. You spot a nice story (who’s got the body of an epic plot with curves in all the right places, and is just full of character) so you dive in with a knowing line, and that gets you your link to the community url. This fandom is everything you want – great potential, lots of personality – hooks you in real tight.

And it is unbelievably easy, I tell ya; come in with a smile and a wink, and you’re in. Aww yeaah.

And then? You wind up stuck in pure and utter boredom, I’m sad to say:
night after night,
nothing but headaches and no nookie. :(
Psyche.
Heh.

Okay, lemme wipe the tears away. Haha, that was great – anyway, me banging the story isn’t the problem. Twice a week, if not every day, I’m pounding away, fucking like a pro. Lack of nookie is not the problem.

No. It’s the porn that I miss.

Y’see, every popular story’s a porn star.
You line up the fans – they show up for free – and people take turns filming their amateur porn.

And that’s what I wanna watch! (’cause thrusting takes effort)

Come on, people:
Take one for the team.

Whaddaya got, stage fright?! Low energy? I got your Viagra right here!

I wish. Nah, you need to go to the pharmer for that.
And hurry up; I’m fucking drained.
I’LL SAY ( YOU GOT ME BLUE BALLIN’ )