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A man picked up a blonde at a bar. They went back to her place and had sex in the dark, where, exhausted from all that mattress wrestling, they fell asleep. When he woke up, he woke up with a face full of her hair. In the light of day he noticed her roots were showing.

Over coffee, he confronted her jokingly about how she was “showing her true colors” and that, if he had known, he wouldn’t have stayed the night.

She didn’t find him particularly funny.

“I’ve always wanted to be blonde,” she said, “Blondes have more fun, after all. And I just knew, I was meant to be – it’s not fair I’m not a natural blonde.”

He blinked. “But you aren’t.”

“But I am blonde. This is how everyone sees me. And you have got to refer to me as such.”

“You bleached your hair; you’re a bottle blon – “

Rolling her eyes, she smacked him on the shoulder.  “I am BLONDE blonde. And it’s not for anyone but me to share that I wasn’t born this way.”

“Have you considered…not being blonde?”

“What’s it to you?”

He shrank from her glare. “Uh. Nothing?”

She calmed down and smiled. “At least now you won’t be surprised when you see my middle school photos.”

“Uh huh.”

“Brown really wasn’t my color.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“I’m much more convincing as myself when the dye sets in.”

“I’ll just let myself out, after…excuse me, where’s the bathroom?”

“Down the hall on the left.”

“…gotcha. Thanks.”

COZ I WANT YOUR TWO CENTS. AND YOUR COIN PURSE, AND YOUR WALLET... NOW GIVE IT TO ME. LAY IT ON, DOWN ON THE GROUND, LIKE A GOOD FELLA SHOULD. HELLOO, PIGGY BANK.

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