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I’ve been on that side of town. I’ve been to sex shops.
I’ve seen their goods; you can have ’em.

Now don’t get me wrong –
The ergonomic dildos are mighty sleek and shiny,
and some of the glass pieces are absolute works of art…

But what is up with the rows of sausages for sale?!
I mean, if that’s what’s on offer – ahem.

My feeling is, if I’m going to go for penis,
I’ll go for real prick, thank you very much.

 

Not some rubber simulacrum.

I’LL SAY ( I SPY A CIGAR )

COZ I WANT YOUR TWO CENTS. AND YOUR COIN PURSE, AND YOUR WALLET... NOW GIVE IT TO ME. LAY IT ON, DOWN ON THE GROUND, LIKE A GOOD FELLA SHOULD. HELLOO, PIGGY BANK.

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